Kenny asked me today if i was nervous about Kaylee's surgery. Truth is, I hadn't even thought to be nervous. I'm a complete planner. I have been so busy planning Kenny's schedule, babysitters, transportation, parking fees, co-payments etc. I never stopped to think about the emotions of that day and the days to follow. I have thought about everything leading up to it but the "after' part. I have so many questions now. How long will the surgery take? How am I going to sit in a room for hours without her? I know there will be pain from blood tests, IVs, not to mention the incision. My fear is she will lose that trusting innocence she has. Will she cry when other people hold her? Will she think everyone around who comes near her will give a shot/medicine/test? I know this is what is best for her. I know this kidney needs to come out. And I know she will have a happy healthy life once it does. But I ache knowing she must hurt before she gets better. She is really starting to become more and more uncomfortable and the vomiting was worse today, so I am confident this is the right decision. But what my brain knows, my heart still needs to catch up on.
I have a new found respect for mommies of chronically ill children. They live this life everyday, often with a bleak prognosis. I praise God that this is temporary for Kaylee and soon we will have a little girl who can go about doing again what she is meant to do, be the light of our world.
Please continue to pray for her doctors, the nurses, insurance issues, our emotions, and most especially, our Kaylee.
Our God is an Awesome God and he has given us three special blessings who will each get extra "mommy snuggles" tomororrow!!
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